Woman demands her 24-year-old daughter cook for her and her boyfriend: ‘He even now asks me to make him and my mom a plate of food if my mom asks because he doesn’t want to’

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Sep 28, 2026 8:00 AM EDT

Cooking is a beautiful thing, but it shouldn't be limited to a gender

Our parents grew up with a very different education; we can't blame them for their gendered ideas about cooking and chores. We can try to actualize them, for sure, but they are entitled to their opinions and preferences.

Dividing chores THEY have to do based on gender is one thing, but when it comes to their sons and daughters, especially after they are over the age of 21, it is a completely different scenario. Technically, the daughter in this story is a full-grown adult and not obligated to do what her mother says, but of course, when you live under someone's roof, only their rules matter.

Sadly, the only solution to problems like these is moving out; there is no use in trying to explain dated binarisms to adults who don't mind listening. When you're old enough, you should search for your own independence and, hopefully, resume cooking in an environment where you're not obligated to feed other people only because of your gender.

I remember when I lived with roommates, cooking was a nightmare. I never wanted to go to the kitchen because there was always someone watching what you did, or someone had left dirty dishes in the sink.

I had to wait until I got my own apartment to rediscover cooking. I could finally use the kitchen without someone watching; I could experiment without fear of failing, and I could take my time to wash everything I'd used. So I'd encourage everyone who feels uncomfortable at home to find their own place. I know it's not simple, and I know this economy is tough, but with time, anyone can do it. You just have to take it one step at a time!

Do you think the daughter should move out? Or does talking to her mother make sense in this scenario?

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  • Cheezburger Image 10666669056
    via Jason Briscoe

    It's not her job

    Image for illustrative purposes



     

  • AIO for not cooking for my mom’s birthday?

    Background... My (F24) mother's boyfriend had been in my life since I was around 10 years old. Growing up, me and my mom have been getting into a lot of arguments mainly about her making
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • me cook for the family and having me serve everyone, especially him, since he "did so much" for us. He mainly did small fix ups around the house and took me to school if I missed the bus. If he was hungry, I had to make him a pb and j
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • sandwich because I made it how he liked it. If he cooked, me and my sister had to wash his dishes. If he made a mess tracking footprints around the house, we had to clean it.
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • A few years ago, she was in another relationship and we had an argument about how everytime she dates someone, she makes me cook and clean after them. She claimed since they did things around the house
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • they have a right to a meal from me. Presently, the first bf is back in her life. My mom doesn't make me make him food as much anymore but still tries me occasionally. He even now
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • asks me to make him and my mom a plate of food if my mom asks because he doesn't want to. Today is my mother's birthday and she asked me to make a cake and wings. I planned to do a
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • dinner for her with sides and everything she asked for. I prepped a few things yesterday and cleaned the dishes. While I was cooking, my mom's bf put a glass of ice on the stove top eye I was using and it cracked while I had food
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • SEA
    via Tina Dawson

    Is it really her responsibility?

    Photo is a representation of scenes



     

  • cooking. Luckily there was a lid on it. I told him about it cracking and he told me okay but never cleaned it. I was ped but left it alone. *The both of them knew l was cooking for her dinner*
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • Also the night before, me and my sis get into an argument as my mom hasn't seen her in awhile and wants me to pick her up and bring her to the dinner. She lives about 30 mins away. I offered do so
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • on the condition that she's spends the night as she wanted me to drop her back off and then I would have to come all the way back home already exhausted. I told her I wasn't going to do that cuz
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • I was cooking, hosting, and cleaning alone and would. be tired. She refused to compromise so I left it alone. Today, when I came home from school, my mom's bf decides to cook her
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • breakfast and left a mess all over the kitchen. He offers me a plate and I eat it expecting him to clean up the kitchen as I always have to do when I cook *them* food. Some time goes by and I ask was he done in the kitchen and he
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • tells me he is and says the dishes are mine. I immediately leave the house and I'm currently staying in my dad's house. I'm also angry that my mom wouldn't defend me but I halfway knew she wouldn't. I don't even know
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • if I'm gonna cook anymore because I'm so ped off of everyone being inconsiderate. AIO
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • Lisa_Knows Best NOR and you definitely should not cook for anyone but yourself going forward. If they try to force you just refuse, you're 24 what can they do? Any way you can just live with your dad until you can get your own place?
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • NaturesVividPictures NOR. You are 24, get out of there. Maybe you can move in with your sister. All I can say is if you get out you don't have to deal with any of this crop anymore.
    via AnxiousGardner2001
  • Cheezburger Image 10666668800
    via Luis Covarrubias

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    Licensed media provided as editorial context

     

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family drama cooking family feud entitled people karma entitled family r-entitled entitled people
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